Durban — It is common for children who have been sexually abused over prolonged periods to be conditioned into believing that this type of behaviour is normal.
This is according to a local organisation working with victims of gender-based violence, including children. Zonke Ngcobo of Ethembeni Crisis Centre, under the Masiphephe Network in support of the victims and their families, said this while weighing in on the 16-year-old girl alleged to have been raped by her father from 2021 to last year, and now seven months pregnant.
The teen’s father was this week granted R4 000 bail, and during his bail application in the Pinetown Magistrate’s Court, the investigating officer revealed that the teen did not seem to understand what was alleged to have been done to her and did not want her father arrested.
“We have found children who have been sexually abused over time are conditioned into enjoying what was happening and therefore they don’t report the abuse.
“We have found others who don’t report because they have been threatened not to talk about what is being done to them.
“We have also found some where the abuser conditions through talking, telling the child that what was happening was normal and right, convincing the child that a father would not break their hearts like a boyfriend would,” said Ngcobo.
She said during their visits to schools they also enlightened children on the type of “language” that abusers used to condition victims.
“Most cases of rape and sexual assaults on children were perpetrated at children’s homes, and in other cases, even when a whistleblower sounds the alarm, we find children not wanting to be separated from their abusers after being conditioned and/or threatened.”
Ngcobo said when they went to schools they encouraged children to report all types of abuse at home, including rapes, adding that they also conducted one-on-one counselling.
“They must not be afraid to report, we also leave our contact numbers after our talks at schools for situations where children are afraid to even report rapes to teachers.”
Ngcobo said that in their parenting sessions where they went out to the public, they also encouraged parents to talk to children about these types of abuse, even though they might not be occurring in their homes.
“We also encourage adults to report forms of abuse they see being meted out to children in their communities, even if it’s a neighbour, report it. We have forms that can be filled out with our organisations, where they can be anonymous reporters of abuses they witnessed so that we can protect children.”
Nompilo Gcwensa, a rape survivor and chairperson of Phephisa Survivors Network in Durban, reacting to the accused being granted bail said, “Honestly I feel like our justice system is the most revictimisation institution for survivors”.
Director of a Durban NGO, Victim Outreach and Information Centre, Alvin Brijlal, said children deserved the best in life, not pain and horror at the hands the very people who are supposed to protect and love them.
“I hope for justice and that if found guilty, the perpetrator gets the harshest sentence. Our president must stand up and condemn these acts as often as possible. He needs to become vocal and act as a protective father,” he said.
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