By: Jason Woosey
Johannesburg - I must admit I’ve been struggling to get my head around who exactly it is that buys an X5 M.
“Someone who’s totally bonkers” was my original assumption, before realising that those who’ve lost their marbles might as well just go for the sportier X6 M. Gangstery types perhaps? Wait, that’s what the Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT is for, no?
I guess there’s no point trying to pigeon-hole the X5 M buyer then; instead we’ll assume that it’s aimed at anybody who wants to enjoy absolutely monstrous performance from the high-riding position of an SUV that’s also big enough to comfortably ferry the family around. Those optional (R30 600) high-res entertainment screens plonked onto the back of the front head restraints of our test car pretty much said it all, but enough of that for now.
The big deal here is that this, along with its less practical X6 M sibling, is one of the most powerful SUVs that money can buy right now. Only Merc’s GLE 63 S has more outright urge - 430kW and 760Nm versus the 423kW and 750Nm churned out by the X5 M’s 4.4-litre twin-turbo V8 although, at 419kW and 800Nm the Porsche Cayenne Turbo S is also in similar territory.
As you’d expect of any high-end crossover, power is channelled through all four of the X5’s wheels at the ratio deemed necessary, although there is a rearward bias, and it’s all put down rather neatly I must add.
With the help of an effective launch-control system, we got it to dart from 0-100km/h in just 4.3 seconds on our Gerotek test strip. That matches the identically-powered but 400kg-lighter M5 Competition Package and beats the standard 412kW M5 by 0.3s. After resetting the trip computer for some calmer post-test cruising, the X5 M drank 16.2 litres per 100km.
Whereas the M5’s engine is mated to a double-clutch M-DCT gearbox, the X5 M gets a conventional torque converter auto, albeit specially tuned by the M Division to behave like a DCT and also endowed with flappy paddles. Even so the gearbox has a different personality.
We recently moaned that our M5 long-term test car was a bit tricky to pilot in congested urban settings, but the X5 M is a somewhat happier camper in town. While the throttle is still quite trigger-like, even when set in default comfort mode, it is at least willing to creep at low speeds.
The downside, for enthusiastic drivers, is that the X5’s Steptronic simply can’t match the lightning-like responsiveness of the M5’s dual-clutcher, although it is by no means slow. It’s a rather smooth and almost innocuous ‘box by comparison and after a while I actually missed that enticing little kick in the gut that the M5 gives you when changing gears.
ACRES OF LEGROOM
Obviously, given its stature, the X5 is not going to match the corner-carving ability of lower-slung performance cars, but it is still every bit as agile as you could possibly ask of an SUV with 195mm of ground clearance. It even comes with a lap timer for the unlikely event that you ever take this monster to a track day.
The ride, while on the firm side as you’d expect, is still adequately cushy on everyday surfaces. You can also adjust the dampers through comfort, sport and sport+ modes and you can separately adjust the steering and engine characteristics through similar modes.
While all that’s been said until now also applies to the racier-looking X6 M, the X5 M trades some style for added practicality, with its more upright rear roofline creating more headroom for those in the back and additional packing space behind them (a whole 550 litres). There’s also acres of legroom in the back, and quite a bit more than you get in the M5. Quote all of this all to your spouse when trying to make a case for the X5 as a “sensible purchase”.
It fares well enough as a luxury purchase too, with its superbly designed and finished interior, which is already a classy place in standard X5 models, but spruced up further here with sportier “M” style steering wheel, instrument cluster, gearshift lever and Merino leather sports seats with contrast stitching.
BMW has been generous with the standard kit, including 3D satnav system, adaptive LED headlights, climate control and an automatic tailgate in the deal. BMW’s brawn department has also done a fine job in distinguishing the exterior to the point where many onlookers point, stare and wish. You can’t not notice that chunky front bumper, wicked-looking 20-inch alloys (21-inchers are optional), race-car mirrors and four giant tailpipes.
VERDICT
There isn’t really a shortage of contenders in the monster SUV game but the X5 M is a compelling player that also offers the best bang for the buck among its rivals. Go for the X5 M if you have big kids, or the X6 M if you don’t and you’re a bit madder than the average X5 M owner, whoever he or she actually is.
X5 M VS ITS RIVALS:
BMW X5 M– 423kW/750Nm – R1 722 659
BMW X6 M– 423kW/750Nm – R1 757 659
Range Rover Sport SVR– 405kW/680Nm – R1 923 125
Mercedes-AMG GLE 63– 410kW/700Nm – R1 726 006
Mercedes-AMG GLE 63 S– 430kW/760Nm – R1 855 006
Porsche Cayenne Turbo S– 419kW/800Nm – R2 255 000
Star Motoring