IN A generation where many relationships are put to the test, Ben and Selvie Pillay, who recently celebrated their 52nd wedding anniversary, serve as a beacon of inspiration.
“There are challenges in many relationships and marriages. I advise young couples to get involved with community projects. These projects support a marriage because when you do things together, you also grow closer as a couple," said Selvie, 70, of Silverglen Drive in Chatsworth.
Ben said he was six years old when he saw his future wife.
"Our families knew each other. When Selvie was born, my mother took me along to see her. She told me the baby would be the right match for me. It sounds strange now, but my mother was right," said Ben.
He said in 1970, when Selvie was 16, they began courting and on September 3, 1972, they wed at the Clairwood Sirdar Road Temple Hall. More than 200 guests attended their traditional Hindu wedding and dined on vegetable breyani.
The couple lived in Ben’s family home in Umhlatuzana and they soon started a family.
"Our first son Daniel was born in 1973, and our second son Dherin was born two years later when we moved to Silverglen. We then moved to Unit one in Chatsworth where we welcomed our daughter, Rovashnie, in 1979 and Thevan in 1981."
Ben said they then bought a house in Parkside in 1980.
"But we ended up selling the house and bought another in Silverglen Drive where we currently live."
He said Daniel died in 1990 due to lung cancer.
"It was a difficult time as he was only 17."
Ben had several jobs over years, including being a clerk and working in insurance. He also worked at Natal Newspapers in accounts and went on to study for an advanced diploma in taxation to become a tax practitioner.
“I currently own Ben Pillay and Associates in Chatsworth. I have not yet retired. My daughter and other staff will continue the business when I eventually do."
He said Selvie worked in retail and at the practice they opened together.
"She worked multiple jobs to assist me, including assisting with admin. Now she spends her time taking care of the house, our grandchildren and gardening. She is also involved with the Chatsworth Rotary Club, of which I was the president for two terms, as well as the 706 Montford Temple Shree Siva Soobramoniar Temple.“
Pillay added that in their 52 years of marriage, they faced many challenges, but he thanked God for helping them get through their hurdles.
“I used to smoke but I quit after Daniel died. Losing our son was difficult. I was also an alcoholic, but I have been sober for 39 years. I am grateful to my wife for standing by me even when things were tough. She never gave up on me. When I was ill, she took care of me, prayed for me, and applied blessed ashes to my forehead for me to get better. My wife knows me too well."
Selvie added that she was grateful for their beautiful family.
“We got married at a young age, and I initially didn't understand how to be a wife and mother but over time our love grew and we learned new things. I would never trade my family for anything. I love my children and six grandchildren very much.”
Every second Sunday they look forward to spending time with their children and grandchildren over lunch.
The couple have travelled to countries, including India, Singapore, Thailand and Mauritius.