MY HERITAGE is so much more than a unique and endearing appreciation of my proudly South African Indian roots and ancestry…
I was at a function a few weeks ago. A lady I had never met before came up to me and after complimenting me on my role in the Mommy Club Sugar and Spice show, introduced herself to me. She told me that we shared the same maiden surname and that immediately attracted my attention as I lost my dad two years ago and love meeting members of his extended family that I never met while he was alive.
My maiden surname is Nadar, which originates from the Tamil caste in Kanyakumari. I love knowing my ancestry, so a deep and meaningful conversation ensued between my new family member and myself. I learnt about many highly intelligent, successful members from my dad’s lineage from that conversation and left feeling the same pride I felt when I visited India for the first time.
As a third generation South African Indian, I know little about my parent’s ancestry and love placing pieces of the puzzle together whenever the opportunity arises.
I married a Goolabjith (my husband is Anand-Nepaul Goolabjith). My husband’s surname is his dad’s name, and his paternal ancestry originates from Bihar in North India. My children therefore are a wonderful mix of North and South Indian ancestry, which I love for them.
When I was a radio presenter on Lotus FM years ago, we were mandated to play one North and one South Indian song intermittently. This was due to the outcry we were faced with if we played more of a particular genre of music. I remember my dad playing his favourite Tamil songs each night before I fell asleep as fondly as I remember dancing with my cousins to North Indian bhangra music as teenagers.
I have learnt that it matters not from which part of India we originate, but how dearly we cling to the heritage we adopted from our forefathers from that region and how we integrate it into our lives as modern Indian women for this is what ensures continuity.
I find that many of our people criticise other South African Indians for living a life of affluence. We are the children of the 1860 settlers. We are not them; we’ve grown, are educated and have created lives we love and are proud of. We have become a formidable force within the South African infrastructure. I believe that celebrating and uplifting each other is pivotal if we are going to pass on a legacy we can be proud of one day.
A huge part of my proudly South African Indian heritage is a love and respect for extended family. Growing up we were always surrounded by our extended family over the weekends and school holidays. We cooked, ate, played, adventured and travelled together. This was a norm and something we looked forward to even though we came from different religious backgrounds. I’m Christian but looked forward to celebrating Diwali as much as I did Christmas.
For Diwali I would get up early in the morning (we lived next door to my aunt and cousins), have a bath, put on the new clothes and rush over to my mosie’s (aunt’s) house. The fresh, tantalising aromas of spicy meals being prepared, sweetmeats and sweet confectioneries being laid onto colourful platters, lamps or diyas being arranged onto shiny trays and, of course, boxes of fireworks were a sensory treat.
Christmas was another fun-filled family celebration. My aunt (dads’ sister) is married to an Englishman and he is a chef of note. We were treated to a variety of gourmet meals all prepared by him. Each family would carry gifts over to their home and partake in a hearty gift giving ceremony after a sumptuous lunch, while we listened to Christmas carols and ate decadent Christmas pudding.
My uncle would pop a bottle of champagne and render an eloquent toast to family. These are the delicious childhood memories that have formed part of my colourful heritage and have become deeply rooted in my heart and mind.
I’m Christian and our girls attend a Christian all-girls private school in Kloof. The school is an old, deeply-respected pillar of the community. The girls attend Chapel service once every week on a Tuesday morning where they sing and hear a message from the Chaplin. They pray regularly at special chapel services during the year and are taught to be good Christian girls in religious studies.
I attended a catholic co-educational primary school called St Anthony’s Primary when I was younger and loved being taught about God by our teachers in religious education. It formed a huge part of my moral compass as a young lady and is something I cherish until this day.
Our girls benefit a lot attending a private school. However, there is also a lot they won’t experience due to the difference in culture at their school.
Diwali is a normal school day. The girls get to dress in cultural wear if they’d like to and are given an opportunity to present a little talk to the class about the significance of the day. There are about five Indian girls in grade three and three in grade one. I often send platters of biscuits for the entire grade, so that the girls can learn about this special Hindu festival from our girls after sampling the treats.
I ensure that our girls dress in traditional wear and that they’re ready to present an interesting talk to their class on Diwali. I often get thank you messages from mums after school when their girls tell them about the significance of Diwali. This makes my heart sing as I believe heritage is best shared.
Speaking about sharing heritage, our girls often pronounce words very differently to the way we do and sometimes speak with what some may call an “accent”. However, this I’ve grown to learn, is their heritage and just as mine was so different to many of my peers growing up, my responsibility is to embrace and encourage them to use it all to become the best version of themselves.
Our girls know more about rugby and the Bokke than I do. They are sporty, musically-orientated and talented dancers, while learning different languages at school. They are well balanced, polished young ladies that can converse with people from any race group or age. They are surrounded by beautiful little girls from a range of different cultural groups at school and have formed close connections.
These are the tenets that will continue to mold their cultural heritage as South African Indian girls and make them powerful forces to reckon with in their professions one day. Heritage to me is therefore a multifaceted framework encompassing social, spiritual and physical intricacies that we are divinely gifted in order to live our life purpose.
Abigail Nadar Nepaul is a wife and mum. She is an attorney, notary and conveyancer and works with her husband Anand Nepaul at his law firm. Nadar Nepaul is also a motivational speaker and empowerment coach. She is one of the cast members on The Mommy Club Sugar and Spice on Showmax.