Johannesburg - Fresh from an incredible jaunt to One&Only Le Saint Géran in Mauritius, I appreciate that life can be supremely good.
We sipped coco loco rum cocktails (I could give you the bar manager, Olivier’s recipe, but then I’d have to kill you), inhaled our Waggu steaks prepared by Michelin-starred chef Vineet Bhatia at their Prime signature grill, ate fresh sea urchins plucked out of the nearby sea on the poolside La Terrasse restaurant and tucked into the best almond croissants south of France at breakfast.
We snacked from our deck chairs on the beach (the bento boxes rocked), sipped Spanish wine from Miguel Torres (the Cupid-adorned San Valentín, made for his beloved wife, “because every day should be Valentine’s Day), briefly lost a catamaran on a reef and had to be rescued by a slick lifesaver, visited the Rhumerie de Chamarel in the south-west part of the island (soon to be launched on these shores), and got to kick back with shellfish and Champagne on SAA Business Class’s new Airbus A320-200 (which has ample legroom to spare).
It could be much, much worse, andI am eternally grateful for the little pleasures. Such as catching the Gautrain in time, being welcomed joyfully by loved ones, and waking up in the morning with a cup of fresh espresso from my own machine and a Woolies rusk.
Then, reality hits you like a sledgehammer. The traffic. The news which you avoided for a week. Coming home tired, and wanting nothing more than someone else to prepare dinner for you. The fact it’s a five-hour plane trip to paradise and you can’t afford Business Class on SAA any time soon. If ever.
Sometimes, inspiration’s about as lacking as the effort in preparing a packet sauce. So, the easy option is to order takeaways, or to try a restaurant because finding the reserves to cook is impossible.
But why, Larry, why, is it so hard to get decent service in this town some days?
First, we try the Indian restaurant down the road, Delhi Palace. Only thing is, it’s not that palatial and the palace needs lots of polish. The Heathway Centre revamped recently, with a kids’ playground, and a deli and plenty of room for the young ones to stretch their legs. Alas, things change suddenly in Jozi, with the deli now closed (having reviewed them, and then realising they were under business rescue, it’s surprising sometimes how places open and then bomb), so we head off to the Indian restaurant across the square. But the glasses are so dirty it will take more than a brisk polish to remove the sediment of the previous beverages. The food’s not bad (we enjoyed the chicken tikka masala and garlic naans), but service is so uninterested you wonder why the waiters bother to pitch for work.
In Linden, the Mozambican restaurant, Ponto of Mozambique @ Greenwood Manor Guesthouse – which promises “The best Mozambique experience south of the border” is a sorry affair. Service is as torpid as tsetse fly-induced sickness.
With no proper signage and no manager in sight, the corporate guest house set-up is not a winning formula. The chicken curry is pleasant, as is the coconut rice, but the rest is unimaginative, and poorly served. And they got the orders wrong. Not recommended. At the least, it looks good at night.
Things can be better – and should be.
While touristy Mauritius has its flaws, the locals understand the importance of treating every visitor like a potential gold mine. It’s an important lesson, because you never know who you are dealing with – whether it’s Nelson Mandela and his entourage, or “Pink Shorts”, the young Russian tourist with his heroin-chic girlfriend who ordered platters of sea urchins and other seafood without so much as picking at it, or a lowly South African journalist - Mauritians seem to grasp that a friendly smile, attentiveness, great food, and giving tourists what they want secures repeat business.
* SAA operates nine weekly flights from Joburg to Mauritius on the Airbus A320-200.
Saturday Star